The Plant of Success
I believe that in life, we are able to grow no matter the circumstances. Like the earth, life isn’t designed to be perfect but the process of living is organic to me. It’s all about how bitter or sweet we want our lives to be. That being said, there is no way around some days being radiating with joy and others being clouded with misery.
There are things we can’t and can control.
Variables we have control over should be our main focus. If I were to ask you to grow strawberries, would your main concern be how to make a rainstorm, or what type of soil would the plant grow best in? Both questions benefit the strawberry, but only one of them can be controlled by the individual.
Unlike a plant, the environment someone grew up in doesn’t define how successful they may become. We all have a story and every story has a beginning, whether it be coincidental or intentional. Either way has the potential to grow into something magnificent.
My story begins with my mom who left her country to find an opportunity in the United States. I was fortunate enough to live in a high middle class suburban neighborhood in Virginia.
My childhood house was owned by my generous aunt and rented out by my mom. We didn’t have money like our neighbors and my friends, but life in the suburban house was like a dream that never ended. A place that was flawless, my happy place. That lasted until I had my 8th birthday party and my older female cousin molested me.
At that time, I was innocent and had no recollection of anything sexual, how an 8-year-old should be, but that event changed my whole life. The environment I was born into breathed success but there are things that are beyond our control.
Even though that tourture lasted for a few months, she instilled in me the ability to keep secrets and to hide my pain. I lived with that experience for a little over decade without telling a soul; meanwhile it was affecting my personal life. I became distant with friends and family when they tried to show me affection. I broke up with each one girlfriends through middle and high school because I thought that being sexual was too much. I slowly started to see all of my friends disappear and I went through depression trying to figure out why.
Right before I graduated, I finally told my close family what had happened to me. The love and support they showed me allowed me to realize that it was my fear that showed my friends out the door. I reflected on the past and saw that whenever my friends and I would get in an argument or get too close, I would push them away as a defence mechanism. In a way I chose to be alone and depressed even though I didn’t realize it.
After the epiphany I began to heal with my family’s support. I began to go to a therapist to further my process for mental reconstruction. Going to a therapist was the first time in a long time when I felt like I had control over my life. Even though some days I didn’t want to do it, I knew it was an essential step to regain my relationships.
A year of therapy and hours of effort , I started to make new friends and grew a stronger connection with my family.
There are moments in life when we feel as though there is little or no growth. Times when we think that life won’t provide us with its fruits. But I tell you, if you can continue to focus on decisions you can control and make the most of what life provides, you can be successful no matter the circumstances.
If you can diagnose a problem in your life and have persistence, focus, learn from your mistakes, and become passionate about changing your life, you will be able to grow and be successful anywhere and anytime.
(Read all the pieces in This I Believe; featured image from Max Pixel, used under CC0 license)