Last year for me felt like what was such a life changing year where I really had the ability to grow due to the change I went though. It was life changing not only having to deal with a pandemic, but also with finding myself and learning more about the person I am/want to become in this world. I made decisions that some might look at as “bad” or “unfortunate,” but I chose to see these decisions as things that have been adding to my evolution.
It was a monumental moment in my life since I almost came to the verge of despising myself for those certain choices I had made. I had a moment of realization and had to keep it real with myself and understand that there is no such thing as perfect. I even questioned who I was trying to compare myself to in order to match this idea of “perfection.” Well let me tell you, there is no such thing as doing things correctly all the time in life so that you always avoid mistakes.
The year 2020 was dedicated to me finding that the beauty of life comes from doing things wrong, only so that you can learn and grow from that experience. There is always a lesson learned from every action that occurs, you just have to have the ability to see it that way.
I finally now came to a place in my life where I don’t view past decisions I made as “mistakes” and dedicated to this I got my first tattoo that is in Arabic saying “Never a failure, always a lesson.” It’s on me forever, but it will always be a constant reminder everyday I look in the mirror. In some of those moments last year, not only did I feel like I disappointed those who cared for me, I felt like I also let myself down.
There were values that I hold very close to my heart that in certain moments when I made decisions I came to terms with letting them slip away. Feeling like you failed is hard, but feeling like you can’t get up from that thing that you think you failed at, can be even harder.
So yes, change is difficult, but I’ve learned that there was no better way to deal and get through the change that I was experiencing by building a stronger relationship with myself. I took that moment in time and used it to my advantage to build a stronger relationship I have with myself, in order to really be able to listen to my intuition in order to guide me to make decisions that are healthier for living a healthy life.
I had no clue before how important it was to engage in doing the things that make you happy and making time to them when you want was. I learned, I grew, and I evolved. I’m not the same Nicole I was two years ago, I’m a bit wiser and more at peace with my inner self now than I ever was before. It wasn’t the change that changed me, it was the change that shaped me.