Hashtag MeToo

Hashtag MeToo

I need to write this before 

I can write anything else—

 

fuck you 

to all the women 

who slut-shamed 

and ostracized other women

for our sexuality 

and our pasts

and are now hash-tagging

#METOO.

 

Ours

is a male-pleasing culture.

We raise big baby boys

because they have the power—

look at Congress, the Senate, the President

corporate greed and climate deniers

Hollywood and did I say the President

of the United States?

 

So many jobs women have

pay so much less—

jobs of nurturing and teaching—

we’re hammered with images 

of what we should look like 

and if we don’t fit, 

we’re ignored, disposed of, or

made to fear

we’ll be replaced

by a better model.

 

So it’s not hard to feel

threatened 

when it seems like 

another woman is getting

what we should be getting 

and she’s not getting it 

because we feel she earned it.

 

She’s getting it 

because she pleases the men

in some way better than we do. 

 

There are only so many places

we’re allowed to feel. We don’t

get 

to be angry 

without getting 

labeled, 

ugly 

or rude or distasteful

or low class 

or desperate. 

 

We don’t get to be 

angry. So when we are

our anger is a rusted weathervane 

pointed in the wrong direction. 

 

So I understand 

when women get scared, 

get jealous 

of another woman 

for no reason.

 

What I do not understand 

is when women who have gone through 

the violations and dehumanization 

the mini-assaults 

and the major-rapes

verbal, emotional

mental, physical, all of them—

 

I don’t understand 

the slut shaming and the ostracizing 

of women like me who say 

metoometoometoometoometoometoometoometoo

metoometoometoometoometoometoometoometoo x100

I have names and stories

for every one. It took so much

of my life that I made it

into a career. Best paying job

I ever had.

 

Now you all decide to say something? 

Now you’re all kind to each other?

Now you’re getting sympathy?

Where the fuck was my

“I’m so sorry 

this happened to you?”

Where the fuck was my, 

“What can I do?”

 

Fuck you 

for ostracizing me. Fuck you

for the shame and aloneness 

you made me feel. Fuck you 

to all the women who had nothing 

but apathy for me. Fuck you 

to the women who tried 

to destroy my life 

once you knew my secret. 

 

Fuck you especially 

because you said 

#METOO.

 

When Officer Rhodes arrested me 

for prostitution, and said, 

“you’ve probably been raped or abused—” 

 

It’s not that I was 

or I wasn’t. But he assumed 

that could be the only reason 

I would’ve chosen my path, when in fact 

it was only a factor.

 

He assumed these assaults 

were confined to a few of us

that our patriarchal culture 

had nothing to do with the predicament

financial and submissive 

that so many of us found ourselves in.

Hashtag Me too

I saw where I was. 

I chose my path. 

I chose my power. 

#MeToo

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