Holding back

Writing has been a part of me for a very long time. Imagination was always an integral part of who I am. But being a child, I always held back from writing on sensitive topics. I never fully expressed what I wanted to in those pieces. I was afraid of being judged mostly by my parents. Questioned how I came to know of the stuff I should not be knowing.

Being fourteen – fifteen and to write about sex, intimacy, consent, abuse, and rape. I was just too afraid. But I wanted the world to know that there is one more person who does take notice of these. I titrate my words, so nothing is explicit. The true message always got lost in the process.

I can say the same for my emotions. I never truly started expressing them until recently. I was afraid of my pain being belittled. A child is well capable to feel all the emotions and definitely needs a format to let them out so they can feel more and grow. I was afraid to write about my love. My diary was raided, and I was questioned “How can you have such emotions?”

Every person needs a place where they can express without being frowned upon. It is not just the words but also the expression that portray judgement. The thoughts must be let go so new ones can be formed. They must be explored to discover what is right and what is wrong. A typical Indian house is everything else but open to thoughts. Everyone including a child must have the freedom to think and express, for it is our innate quality to think. Let us not nurture an environment where one is afraid to express. Meanwhile do not hold back. Write what you want to. Speak what you feel. (Also listen to learn.) It is only by expressing humanity has grown. And it is only by expressing humanity will grow.

What are you looking for?