You have this list of tasks, right,
always coming along with you.
You think, I am trying to achieve
these goals, and then the next ones.
But that’s a book that never ends.
So let’s set down that book for a moment.
“I am just going to breathe right now.”
This is allowed, albeit difficult.
I know, I know – breathing
doesn’t pay the rent, or mortgage.
There’s no award for best oxygen inhalation.
You don’t get to brag or wear a sash.
But you are also a house, with rent.
Your body and head deserve repair.
Taking a break from I Should or I Need To
is akin to mowing your own front yard –
or letting the grass grow wild and unruly.
That’s another option too.
You can clock out for now if you want.
You can just lie in a hammock.
This list that you’re carrying around inside –
Whose handwriting is that staining the page?
Your parents? A mentor? Maybe your own
from another life, and in need of revision.
When you opt out –
When you say, it’s time for me
to recalibrate –
Think of a seed beginning to tree.
I bet to the ground
such growth is at first uncomfortable.
But then, much later: apples.