Lighthouse To Freedom

I don’t know when you crept in,

but I do remember recognizing you that December night

when a bitter nip drilled itself into my bones

In the

             h u s h e d

                                 silence of the bare walls within,

I listened to the sound of rain persistently pelting the ground outside, 

punctuated by lurid lightning and threatening thunder.

It was then

                      that I heard a knock followed

                                                                            by a whisper

and then again, except this time,

         I felt them too.

 

That hammering came from the hellish black hole you created

My insides usurped and emptied out

so that you could build your home.

I felt the whisper trapped in the aching lump within my throat.

Your deadening eyes,

                                      stealthily

                                                       pierced through my clavicle,

regurgitating memories of all those times when

you beat my voice into submission.

in the merciless inferno you wielded

My nefelibata spirit was singed and sullied

                           down to

                                            black

                                                      carbon flakes


             
Dear anxiety,

You corrupted my narrative with an agonizing exposé that I felt too

            i n a d e q u a t e

                                          to lay out to the world.

You stayed.

You avalanched over all my defenses

as hailstones clattering over fragile walls

You tore through my lungs and left me gasping.

You conjured storms,

        cursed clouds,

                                and cold winds.

Your growls invaded my ears

And extinguished my frenzied crescendo of cries.

 

In your lightning strike attack, I shrank

to a mere anatomy of

                                      s-e-v-e-r-e-d dreams and

                                                                                     shadowed fractures,

I almost surrendered my existence to your fire

then realized,

That tongues glazed with lies,

Eventually have their metallic sting rinsed

in pools of ice.

So, In my own capsized condition

I vowed to rebuild myself from flotsam.

I contained your pouring wrath

Within my loving vessel.

I understood that while you were burning me,

                       you were burning too.

Should you stay, I won’t wrestle your rage but

I won’t float fracas as I once did.

Instead,

                       I have chosen co-existence,

 dear anxiety.

One in which, we can both embrace silence

as we watch sulfurous ash levigate

from the last sienna cinders

yielding slowly from the parts of us that burned.

What are you looking for?