Lust of the flesh

I want this.

I really want this.

My subconscious chants this over and over.

I feel this thought seeping into every moment.

Seemingly inconspicuous in its arrival…

It starts to justify every thought and action that crosses my mind.

For it can’t possibly be wrong to move with every whim and give in to impulse

Following the scent of every desire…

The heady scent of every whimsical thought that’s leading me from one catastrophe to the next.

Dazed by the cyanide that has now become my oxygen.

Enchanted by this reckless lifestyle.

Each action egging me on till I reach my climax.

Each yes making it that much more pleasurable.

Till my body is pulsating from the high of hedonism.

 

No.

 

The euphoria of giving in to all my desires regardless of the disaster that lays in its wake.

My path of destruction formed with every decision.

A road moulded with my very own desires.

 

No.

 

My head in the clouds with no way of coming down.

Each high more cataclysmic than the last.

Giving into every indulgence and forging my demise.

 

No.

 

With every yes comes a pretty thorn.

Thorns hidden in the pretty rose bushes synonymous to my decisions and their results.

Consumed and completely enveloped by the live-wiring sensations coursing through my body.

 

No.

 

Did you hear something?

 

No.

 

There it is again.

 

No.

 

I hear that whisper.

The whisper that’s fighting to be heard.

 

No.

 

This gentle voice starts to clear the smokescreen.

Finally, some of the cracks start to reveal themselves.

I shake my head for a moment and slowly the disillusionment starts to creep in.

The vines slinking and wrapping themselves around my illusions.

Pushing forth their agenda all the while choking me in the same breath.

Until my illusions are shattered and I’m drowning in my flesh.

The darkness trying to seduce me once more to return to my paradise.

But the allure is gone, and I am petrified.

Looking for a way out.

 

No.

 

I cling to that unknown voice and in the process, I lose myself.

I see the battle break out in front of me.

More like I find myself in the middle of a battlefield.

My flesh sparring with a spirit.

Life vs death.

I was the key piece but found myself switching between both sides.

 

I tried to save my life and found death winning

But when I lost my life to the spirit, I felt myself gaining it.

 

To give in to one was to lose the other.

To lose one is to give in to the other.

 

Temporary life and eternal death or

Temporary death and eternal life?

 

Knowing this battle will span my lifetime.

I take a step in the direction of the spirit.

I make the first and most crucial step.

For it is never too late to turn from darkness to life

The first step to put my flesh to death is the easiest step

For I know the true challenge will be crucifying my flesh daily.

 

When will you start your journey to eternal life?

What are you looking for?