My Secret

We met in between serious and worse. 

And it was fun. She wrote: My girlfriend

and I are living above a paint store

in Chicago. Come visit! 


She was like a warm day in October, crimson,

burnt-orange, gamboge – a deep saffron,

gamboge powder is made from the resin

of the Garcinia tree.  Used in oil and watercolor

paint, it is said to be so poisonous, even a touch

on the lips is fatal.  I wanted to go.


But I owed a debt to someone else.

It was serious.  After the abortion,

we made plans to travel.  I was unsure

I wanted to go, but I did.  It got worse.


Recently, I read aloud what I had written

in my writing group – about the affair in Chicago,

so long ago.  A woman commented, I am jealous.

What are you looking for?