Poetry Constipation

Slumped on a careworn chesterfield chair, collapsed like a let-up longevous lung

Demoralized and defeated, feeling not so young

Whose only defibrillator is deep desperation to write a poem

Yet his endeavour does not meet his expectation’s gem.


Fear not for James, this jinxed man

For he has now thought of a plan

A plan that includes searching on Google cheekily

One that he hopes will paint his mono mind colourfully.


On Google, as elevated as a hot air balloon, he opened a web page

One that contained a list of links of poem topics that looked all but beige

Not feeling a rover, our man choses the first option, the Haiku style

So, he clicks the link to see the poem genre list with a smile.


The first genre on the list was love

Oh, luscious, love, the writing of a dove

The pen, pencil, quill or keyboard but soft

And the feeling in the mind just waft

However, our protagonist would appose

He thought the topic love was horribly platitude, and he is right, I suppose.


Not to James’s shock, the next overused genre on the list was roses

Roses, the ravishing red flower, a delight for noses

It’s a thorny delight for the erudite eyes

Now, this next part is to no ones’ surprise

James had read one too many poems on the topic

So, he decided to browse on the genre list to find something more exotic.


Now getting slightly desperate, James scrolled far down to see a new genre list

However, he scrolled for too long and the queer results made him throw up his fist

From grey great Grannie’s grimy golden tooth to shiny silver scone sculpture view

All of it looked like it crawled on the genre list out of Google page two

I think we all know James by now, and for him this list certainly wouldn’t do!


He decided to take one last foray before he would surrender

For he realised that looking for a topic was a blunder

So, he just bundled his forlorn emotions up

Put them delicately in a poetic cup

And whoosh! Like magic he found his muse

Which you are now reading as a poetic ruse.

What are you looking for?