Divorce can be traumatic for both adults and kids because of the custody negotiations between parents.
Since custody struggles are what makes divorce so hard for kids, it’s important to learn more about the process and what you can expect from your lawyers to help this be as painless as possible.
In many cases, parents will win “joint custody” where the kids’ time will be split between parents. In this scenario, the divorced parents will need to work together to co-parent their children. Co-parenting is a method of raising a child where the adults involved in their life are not together.
While co-parenting can be difficult, it can also be as equally rewarding for everyone. Keep reading to discover excellent tips to start this new parenting journey.
Find a Healthy Outlet
It can be difficult to move past trauma from a divorce and a past romantic relationship since there is often lingering anger, remorse, or other negative emotions present. This is normal and healthy to feel, but it is critical that you have ahealthy outletfor these feelings outside your co-parenting bubble.
Whether you prefer physical activity, creativity, or talking to a therapist or friend, you should express yourself in a healthy way. The bottom line is that you should never vent your anger or talk badly about your co-parent to your children, as this can be damaging. Use your outlets and support systems instead.
It’s All For The Kids
In a situation with split parents, there is a possibility of another adult coming into your kids’ life as a step-parent, which can be another difficult adjustment to make.
It’s crucial to remember that demonstrating healthy adult relationships are essential for children. That means both you, your ex-partner, and any new significant others are there to love and support the children first.
Sure, there may be natural issues that cause you to struggle with your ex-partner or their new partner. But the most essential point for co-parents to agree about is that any new adult in their children’s lives is someone that is unconditionally there for them.
Communicate Honestly and Respectfully
Make sure you are communicating regularly with your co-parent so that you have the same understanding and goals for raising your young ones.
It is common to have anxiety or disagree with your co-parent, so speak up. You are far better off being honest and letting your co-parent know that you have a problem, rather than waiting for the problem to get worse. The most important part of communicating with your co-parent is expressing your concerns with them calmly and respectfully.
Help Your Children Adjust
Divorce is hard for your kids, so make sure you check in with them frequently to see how they are. Have open conversations to let them express themselves and, if needed, connect them with a therapist.
You can help them adjust to the new normal by reminding them a few days in advance when they will be going to their other parent’s house. At both homes, make sure there are all the necessities your child will need, like a toothbrush, bedding, and a few sets of clothing. This extra stability will help your child become used to the new system of joint custody between parents.
Co-parenting after a divorce is not an easy thing to do, but it is absolutely possible. Many couples going through divorce have successfully raised their babies to be successful adults with co-parenting, and you can too.
Having negative emotions like anxiety or anger throughout is completely normal, but be sure to find a healthy outlet. Remember that everything you are doing is in the best interest of your kids and co-parenting will evolve as you and your children do. Make use of these tips and you will be on the right track.
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